The Top 2 Limiting Beliefs Standing in the Way of Your Success and Happiness
As a leadership coach, my practice is brimming with limiting beliefs, my own included. Most of the time we don't even know our beliefs are limiting, we just believe them to be our truth.
Limiting beliefs come from our experiences, societal expectations, and our own biases. They can stop us from taking risks, leveling up in our careers and initiating change. Working with high-performing entrepreneurs and professionals across many industries has taught me one thing: our thoughts become our beliefs which become our reality.
Are either (or both) of these beliefs currently taking center stage in your life and career?
I am too much.
I am not enough.
When we think about stepping out of our comfort zones these beliefs come crashing down like a forcefield of inertia and prevent us from moving forward. Either sentiment is equally painful and damaging. If we don't believe we can do something, we won't. It is time to stop the ticker tape of self doubt and start reframing.
Belief #1: I am too much. Dimming our lights to fit in, not appearing too needy, not wanting to be too bold or too controversial. Not asking for too much, not needing too much. This is particularly prevalent in females. The way we were raised, the message we were told. Tara Mohr speaks to this in her book, "Playing Big", a book that changed my life and the way I coach.
Belief #2. I am not enough. I am only loved for what I do not for who I am. I am only as important or worthy as my last sale, promotion, purchase or achievement. Without these things, I am not enough. I will get one more degree, get a better car, lose more weight.
What is the solution?
Go back in time. When did you first hear that you were too much or not enough? At school? At home? Was it from someone that had your best interest at heart? Were they trustworthy? Was their feedback relevant? Did they share the same values? Rewrite that story as if talking about your best friend. You would never think they were "too" anything. Or "not enough" of anything. That isn't even on the table. Not enough is unimaginable. What if you are "just right" in your career or life?
Next time one of those "too" or "not" thoughts comes up, get curious. Go for an archeological dig into your past and start excavating and unraveling those stories. Release the baggage of "too" or "not enough" of anything and embrace the joy of "just right".