Conquering your fears. 4 Steps to freedom.
Fear. It’s everywhere. Fear of failure. Fear of not being enough. Fear of being wrong. Fear of not being liked. And often the most painful? Fear of missing out or not belonging.
What is your relationship with fear? Do you meet it head-on? Are you curious? Are you avoidant?
The bigger the fear, the most likely you are close to something juicy and on purpose. (Death-defying sports aside)
I recently came across an old journal entry called “My Fear List” which I wrote years ago prior to turning my life upside down, becoming a certified coach and starting my business.
It is scary to share publicly, but deep down I know that sharing this aligns with my values of honesty, bravery, and purpose. (The vulnerability I feel sharing this tells me it is a story that should be told.)
ALI’S FEAR LIST (circa post having children pre coaching)
I won’t become anything
I will fail and be embarrassed
I won’t figure out my calling
I don’t have the proper network, who will I turn to?
I am not strong enough to survive
I am scared to do it alone
It will be a waste of time and money
It feels unsafe and irresponsible
Do any of these resonate with you? Are you at a crossroads in your life and keep walking away from that little voice that wants more? Have you felt any combination of these fears in this past year? Month? Week?
So how do you know when to tap into your bravery and proceed anyway? Should you jump blindly into the abyss and praying for a good turnout?
The answer is NO.
You first need to get to your WHY. Your why is what keeps you up at night. Your why is the part you can’t stop dreaming or thinking about it.
What was my WHY?
I wanted to make an impact. To create something that was mine. To inspire my daughters. To empower women to challenge antiquated expectations of what it means to be a good woman/wife/mother even if it was only one person at a time.
Check, check, check and check. Once I realized my why I couldn’t back out. Was I going to say that my daughters weren’t worth my risk? That I no longer cared about making a difference in people’s lives? Absolutely not. I started looking at my fear list and tackling the worst-case scenario for each and then realized I could manage the fallout. It wouldn’t be ideal, but I would survive. Then I started making small steps to start minimizing the distance between where I was and where I wanted to be.
Your 4 step fear checklist:
Identify the fear. What is too scary to name?
Figure out your why. What is your purpose? What will conquering that fear give you?
Go back to original fear list and go to work through various best and worst case scenarios, including the deep dark ones
Reflect, trust yourself, and proceed.
Want to get some coaching around your big fears? Book a discovery session with me and together let’s uncover your why.
Book your complimentary 15-minute call here
xo Ali
Currently reading: Essentialism by Greg Mckeown
Current mantra: Your future self will thank you.
Currently eating: Mushroom Risotto from Modern Proper, my daughter made it for a family dinner last week, delish!